Well it’s 7:25, I just walked in from my work day and all I see in my house are things that are unkept and need to be cleaned-thrown out-put away-washed. FAITH is all I can say. The counters are covered with crap that she ate after school, shoes and coat thrown on the floor, backpack in the way of the door so I trip on it as I walk in. I’m agitated at the day and don’t know where to start first. Clothes get put away first, then I make my way to the main bathroom and all I can do is start to scrub the sinks and make my way to the shower. It’s one of those moments where everything annoys me.. It’s time to call it a day, I need to crawl into bed and wake to a new day. And what do I see when I enter my room, my D-O-G. Rollie Pollie! AWH, my mood instantly changes and a few pets and hugs later I call it a day and hope for a better tomorrow.

The day is filled with action….the needs are high….the stress of not having enough time to get it all done in one day is overwhelming. As I thought about what to write about today I took many deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth— “that is the best relaxing way to help our bodies “reset” I teach our students, I realize that is not enough on some days.

My body hurts and the hot pain behind my neck from the stress of the day is at a point where it is time to make the massage appointment. I try and attend to my own mental health by going once a month. I love this outlet but I know it is not for everyone. It’s like my therapy as I get 60-90 minutes to myself where there is no phone or children to interrupt me. I wish I could shut my brain off during that time but even then the list is being made in my head as to what needs to be accomplished outside of those walls. It’s never ending, the stress of life is always got something to throw at us and today I am taking a hot minute to make my appointment!

Yesterday was my daughters 12th birthday and it was going to be celebrated without her Papa for the first time. I was not sure just how hard this day would be and what to expect out of my child and from all of my siblings and mom as well as this was going to be the first “celebration” since my Dad’s passing two weeks ago.

The day started off great with my daughter getting up for school with no issues (unlike most day I am giving her 50 reminders to get out of bed and how many minutes before the bus will be arriving) that in itself was a HUGE celebration. Out the door she went to have a great day at school. Once she got home her grandmother was waiting for her to take her out for a shopping trip to one of her favorite places to pick out some clothes, of course she comes home with a few things she had to have. Next was dinner at one of her favorite places and her bestfriend was in toe. (at this age most things are done with her friends coming too) The more the merrier was my thoughts tonight! A group of us met up and we had a great time- to our surprise there was BINGO happening at this establishment tonight and we all took part and that was an unexpected fun bonus as mom won 250 bucks !!! I could not have asked for a better Birthday for my kiddo even though the absence of her Papa was obvious, our hearts found joy and the birthday celebration went on !

How do I live without “live” cable? My entire life I have had live cable, yes I have had to play the game of calling up and getting a better package every now and then when I fall out of the contract but now it is OUTRAGEOUS. I understand that today’s world is all about streaming but there is something uncomfortable about taking away the cable bill…(yikes) I have done my research and looked into some streaming options. One of my safety nets that I like to have is live news. I like to turn on my local favorite channels and see my news live. That may sound strange to some but that is important to me. They really get you no matter what as the cost of just to have cable in your home is a huge amount as well. I have friends that have rabbit ears in their home and only get channels that come from that- I can not go that far but by the time I add on all the extras that I also currently have it seems to bring me pretty close to my current cable bill. WHAT A GAME.

The sermon is mass yesterday was a great one about less is more and I told myself that there are some things in life that I need to purge and the cable bill is in the top 3 of the list. This brings on anxiety such anxiety as I feel once I do this I will somehow screw myself as that always seems to happen when I research something for a long time bf making a move. Stay tuned I guess, let’s see if I have a fat cable bill next month or not.

Where is the warmer weather? The last time I checked the temps for this weekend I thought yesterday and today were to be in the higher 60’s?. Today is burrr cold. I am quite sick of this blah cold grey weather. I know this is typical for our Midwest area but it seems like we have had a lack of sunshine and it is starting to have a negative effect on my mood that is for sure. I do like the change of seasons but I could do without the Winter and all that it entails. This week it looks like the temps are going to be on the cooler side as well. Ugh, that is a drag.

Sunny weather I know is near and soon the grass will start to change back to a plush green and the buds will start to show. I LOVE the Spring and the sounds that come with it. It also brings out the Cinderella in me. The garage is the first to get the clean out- I can’t wait as I have been looking at several things all winter and have convinced myself that it is ok to toss it out as it has served its purpose and it is time for a new home. Letting go of “stuff” is a whole new subject to write about for another day…..

I love looking at new recipes. Going through a cookbook I find very relaxing but it’s dangerous when I’m hungry. That was today, lol. Every recipe look so good. Lemon garlic chicken tacos, roast beef hash, teriyaki steak subs, paprika beef and noodles, honey garlic meatballs, scalloped corn and broccoli, heck they even make meatloaf look and sound amazing and gourmet! After looking through some recipe’s off to the store I go. ( again not smart when your hungry) I hit the cake mix isle and came home with two-three mixes for cake and muffins. After wondering around for a while I head home and put things away. My mom hates grocery shopping, again I enjoy it and find it somewhat relaxing as it is a brainless activity. I do recall not liking it when my child tagged along as everything went into the cart. Those were days I just wanted to run in and whip through the store as time was short but when you have a little one with you it becomes a half day affair.

Once home I now need to decide what to make for dinner- funny thing is, the recipes that look so good to me and I couldn’t wait to make now need my energy to do so and all I want to do now in this moment is go and take a nap ! Happy Saturday !

“Aunt Kim” is a sound I love to hear coming from my little Niece and Nephews. Vera is 2 and she is in the cute and needy stage. My brother is exhausted with her and tells me I can have her for the day as he would welcome some time without the constant crying or “wanting” this and that every minute of the day as she is always on the go and never ever satisfied with anything. I can recall those days with my own daughter but she was not as “on the go: as her cousin but she also did not have an older brother that tormented her most days ( I wonder if that makes a difference)? After spending a few hours with Miss Vera you are looking to see if it is nap time soon (lol). My own daughter is 12 now and there are days when I wish I could rewind the years back and have more time with her in those younger years. Grade school went by in a blink, Jr. High is half over and High school is on the horizon. Why does time go by so fast……

Leaving my house this morning to face a day that was going to be a very emotional and reflective day I was greeted with the sunshine. I was not expecting much sun today but there it was- This was my first grateful moment. The day just continued to remind me of all the gifts I have been given in my family and my friends (new and old) I have an unbelievable support system that I can depend on in moments when life gets tough. I am a very strong and independent woman to begin with but even those of us who are independent people fall apart and need to be lifted up and supported at times. I have been blessed with such support in the last couple days that a simple thank you does not seem to be enough said in return. I can only hope that my young daughter is also blessed with lifelong friendships that leave a lasting mark on her heart forever.

“See you later Alligator, After while Crocodile”

Hi Dad !

It’s a very sunny day today, the temperature is going to be in the 50’s, gotta love that. Almost time to be back on the golf course. Today is a day I am going to remember all the good moments as there are so many, that our family has made. Your smiling face will be in my thoughts and heart as we share stories, hugs, tears and laughs with many of our family members, friends and neighbors. I know you will be at my side giving me strength and support as you whisper to me just how how proud you are of us all and how you hope we continue to love one another, not fight (like siblings do) and continue to make family memories for years to come. My family is saying goodbye to our beloved Dad today….. “See you later Alligator, After while Crocodile” Until we meet again- Love you!

Sometimes having a quiet day at home alone does not bring peace like you had hoped for. The time alone instead makes me look around and see all the things I would like to rip out of my house and re-do. The house chores I know are never done and when you think you have things in a good order there is always something that grabs your attention to say otherwise.

I have a million things in my head today that I have to get done and I already have fast forwarded the day in my mind and now I have an overwhelming feeling of yuck. (big sigh) One thing at a time is rolling in my head as I hear my mothers voice saying to me. “Don’t get yourself all worked up.” There is never enough hours in a day, ever. Well I better get to the second thing on my list for today as writing this entry was task #1. A smile has come over me knowing I got the first thing done and it’s not even 9:00AM. LOL.